kibsta

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Planned Pheromones.

When it comes to keeping a relationship afloat it often starts with spontaneity. Give yourselves a break from the tried and true, and do something new. 

Phrases every girl, myself included, loathes "whatever you wanna do" "whatever you want". No fucker, it's not whatever.wherever  I want. I want you to make plans and tell me when my ass should be ready. Men who make executive decisions are infinitely more attractive. I cannot stress this point enough. We don't need you to plan our next wax appointment, but it would be a nice change of pace if you picked the place we're going to eat, the movie, a fun activity etc. I guarantee you're forthcoming-ness won't be the only thing coming later, if you're picking up what I'm putting down here.

On the flip side to that, I don't need you to be overbearing.overly overzealous.or overworked when it comes to making said decisions. Yes, it's nice to not always be the one who "plans" especially if it's not really in your nature. (truth be told, I can't tell if I'm a planner or not..I think I am? but I love spontaneity as well...) but that doesn't mean we want you to be so rigid that you have an aneurysm if we say... have a surprise water gun fight on the way home; relax it's only water. 

Which brings me to my next point. Women are complicated as fuck, even the "chill" ones. One moment we want you to be more future-oriented and the next second we want you to live in the moment. We're constantly switching our wants and moving around the criteria in which we judge others on, so just know that you can't always win. 

Basics that should usually, if not always  stay spontaneous:

  • sex (unless it's around shark week) and if you're getting grossed out about the thought of a woman menstrating, then you shouldn't be having sex, period. (pun intended)
  • surprise nice gestures: whether they be picking up their favorite beer.dessert.food on the way home
  • unexpected kisses (I'm tellin' you man...)

There is nothing more unattractive than being affiliated with a one trick pony, let alone being romantically linked to one. Having your significant other ask you if you guys can "have sex later" is - there are no words to express my horror with that question...yes it's happened to me before (it was via text message ::cringe::) Long story short, asking another person if you can have sex with them is usually the fastest way to guarantee you getting off by yourself. Don't do it. If they want to do the deed, you'll know. Frankly, because there won't really be any talking.

There's something so inexplicably attractive about not knowing what the other is thinking all the time. Don't get me wrong, not know what the other is thinking any  of the time, is mortifying (and if this applies to you, I highly suggest rethinking your dynamic with this person, they could be plotting to kill you. kidding, sorta)  Maybe it's just me, but I love being caught off guard by someone who I believe to know through and through (and vice versa). The silver lining is in the fact that I'm curious about their reasoning behind whatever they've just done to leave me shell-shocked. 

If there's one thing you take away from this fellas : make. fucking. plans. (once in a while)

keep it raw.kin