As of the second to last week in April, I have officially started my position as eCommerce Acquisition Coordinator over at Clarks (USA)!! 

I rarely talk about my feats/successes, but I think that this one deserves a little self-horn tooting. The real reason why I wanted to take the time to write this is not just to explain what I'll be doing, but to shed light on the whole damn battle up until this point here.

Okay so here's a little snap shot of what my situation was up until last week:

• Bentley University Graduate (2013) 
• Bachelor of Science in Marketing, Bachelor of Arts in Media Arts & Society.Minor in Psychology
• Living at home
• Credit Card bills
• School loans
• Part-Time Job

So those are the things that are fixed, aside from living at home and having to pay off my students loans for a few months, everything else was already into play. 

A bit of a background on my employment/work history is that I've always worked. My family's owned well known restaurants since before I was even born, and working with your family is somewhat of a right of passage for us Lee's. If you could see over the counter, chances are, that meant you were ready to start helping out. You didn't think you could just eat free food forever did you?? I did.

All it took was a couple of years, once I was a teenager to realize that I couldn't stand working with family, I love my family to death trust me, but I just couldn't handle it - but that's a separate post. I got my first real job, with a real paycheck when I was legally allowed to, which is my memory serves me right, I was wither fifteen and a half or sixteen. I worked at a popular ice cream shop in the town that I went to school in, all the cool kids worked there apparently. Who knew?

The summer's were busy, and the winter's were slow but I didn't mind it. I continued working there until I was a sophomore in college. After which, I got a new part time gig at a gym about fifteen minutes away from the dorms. By this point I had already completed one internship, and was in the midst of my second. By the time I graduated college I had internships from five different companies, all relevant to my major, and all in the industry that I wanted to be in someday. I went to school full time, worked part-time, and interned throughout the week, all while trying to double major and minor, and stay active on the e-board for organizations that I was a part of. 

I started applying to jobs my at the beginning of my last semester of college. I had three final round interviews and was even given an offer, all before I graduated. I turned down the initial offer because of the commute, it was "too far of a commute" I thought. It was still early, I had time to figure things out....

The next thing you know, I'd been asked to join just about ever creative free-lance agency, had exhausted all possible resources and was on the verge of tears nearly every day. 

At first, the rejection emails.letters.calls didn't bother me, I'd think to myself "I didn't want to work there anyway" or "There are so many other places to work out there!". I had been pretty busy my whole life up until this point and so I told myself that I deserved a break. While I continued to apply to an average of 15-20 jobs a day, I was extremely picky. Instantly sending emails.calls.letters that were regarding Sales positions to trash.voicemail.garbage. I didn't want to do anything outside of my field, and I couldn't possibly do sales could I? No, last resort if I absolutely had to, what was I thought. 

Fast forward to the end of my search and I had been on:

• over 30 in person interviews
• God only knows how many phone screens/interviews
• at least 10 final rounds
• countless cover letters

I had just turned down a position at a company that was clearly not the right fit, and was rejected from a place that would have made me hate coming into the office everyday. My mom told me from the beginning that she had a good feeling about this one, but I was so off put by the time that had elapsed that I didn't have much faith in her words, or myself for that matter. 

For those of you, like me, who feel like it's an endless cycle of:
"you need more experience" .... how am I supposed to get experience IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME A CHANCE?? It's either you're under qualified or you have to do something you don't want to. Constant rejection lowered my self esteem to the point where there would be days when someone would ask "how's your job search going" and depending on my inbox I would either be furious or on the verge of tears. It sucks. You have to make yourself sound appealing, market your strengths, downplay your weaknesses, all while playing it cool. It's exhausting. 

It's really easy to give up. I'm not gunna sit here and lie and say I applied to jobs everyday until I got one. There were weeks where I didn't apply to a single job. Why would I? I thought, I'm just gunna get rejected anyway. And it's okay to think that. It's okay to take a break. But the most important thing to remember is to keep pushing through. One more you fill out, is one less left. And if it doesn't work out, it's because it wasn't meant to be. Don't beat yourself up, because you're going to have those days where you just can't get the words out right, or you fall out of your chair on your way to the door after an interview (yes this happened, to me, twice). 

The right time, the right place, the right people will happen to you, and then that's it! 

Three weeks after my initial in-person interview, I finally got a call back for a second round. I honestly was so fed up with my whole job search that it was all blur. Three days later, I was sitting at my desk at my part-time job when I got the call. 

I remember sitting there, immediately quitting out of the twenty or so job postings I had open, and smiled to myself. I can't begin to explain the feeling of this what seemed like unsurmountable weight being lifted off my shoulders, because I want you to experience it yourself.

Getting my welcome package in the mail confirmed all of my hard work and all the avoidances of wrong-fits, it was perfect.

I know I'm fortunate enough to have had the means to wait for this opportunity. I know there are many of my family.friends.classmates that did not have such a luxury. I am lucky enough to have two parents that love and support me and all of my decisions, and I don't think I would have made it this far without them. They have sacrificed far more than I ever dreamed two people could, and I am thankful everyday that I get to wake up and go work for a company in the industry that I want, doing a job in the field that I want, with people that make it all worthwhile.

If there's one piece of advice I could give seniors who don't have a job lined up after they graduate: 

it's okay! you'll get there, I promise.

Even if you didn't have the resources to stick it out then, I highly encourage those of you who are unsatisfied to strive for more. To do better, to be better, because sometimes it really is worth the wait.

keep it raw.