I’m 100% guilty of spending ridiculous amounts of money on cheese boards or a “sick spread”. Fuck that. With the right arsenal, you can grab everything you need to do it yourself, in the comforts of your own home – hell your own bed if you want.
I gotchu.
First, you need to figure out how many people you’re dealing with and if there are any dietary restrictions (although that shit is hard to guarantee).
Standard is about 2 ounces per person, 5 if you include it with bread.
Playing with textures, temperatures, and flavors is a great way to wow a crowd, and all you need is a stove, fridge and your judgment. A hard salami, maybe a pate or a smoked sausage.
Figuring out how far a personal is willing to go when it comes to dairy. Do they like things that are milder? Is bleu just okay? or is it the bluer the better? Something creamed/soft, maybe one traditional milk and one from another animal and either a blue or something else that’s funky. A crumble, and an aged add depth as well. Can’t go wrong with a couple different types of cheddars because they’re easy and delicious.
Be sure not to have garnishes become an afterthought! Acid. Sweetness. Crunch. Nuts are essential – pistachios, cashews, peanuts, wasabi peas. A good mustard to cut the fat. Pickles, can’t forget the pickles. I love to make my own especially when watermelons are available, pickled watermelon rind is unbelievable.
Lots of stuff comes pre-sliced. A good rule of thumb for salami is to slice it when it’s cold, the thickness of a quarter or so on the bias, and to serve it at room temperature.
I usually have bread on hand that I’ll drizzle some olive oil or spread some confit garlic on and toast. Be sure to keep some soft as well. Jams or preserves are cool if you're into that sorta thing.
Have EVOO, black pepper and salt, maybe some fruit/honey on deck just in case people want to use them in little pinch bowls – cuz we’re sort of adults now and we have weird cutlery and wares now.
Tell guests to bring booze/wine/beer/cider and to contribute to a group playlist or something and you’ve got a great night in! (or stop on your way out). Have plenty of utensils and accoutrement nearby for peeps to use, but at the end of the day, you want it to be interactive and fun because that's what food is all about!
Cheers