Okay, so I’m not really a big birthday person. I’m all for celebrations for other people, but not so for myself. This year was actually a little different (spoiler alert). For once I felt like it was acceptable to want to celebrate my birthday. The weather is supposed to be nice, my age is actually a relevant one, and I feel like I’m actually starting to get the hang of life and who I actually am.

I feel stable in my career – for the most part. I’m glad to have the opportunity to do what I think is fun everyday. Yeah of course there are some challenges, and not everything is going to be perfect, but that’s life! The notion that things are fluid is starting to stick with me.

My parents are homebodies by nature, and I guess due to their nurture I’ve started to embrace that side of myself a bit more. Maybe it’s because I’m the baby in the family, or because I had a fake ID when I was sixteen…but I really am starting to dig the whole stay in versus go out on the weekends.

My parents also used to tell me that they could count their true friends on one hand. Back when I was younger the thought of only having five friends was arguably social suicide/the worst thing that could happen to me, but as the years wear on I really have started to believe in that.

It takes a lot of effort to maintain relationships. With relatives, friends, loved ones, coworkers, anyone really - you get what you put in. We live in this digital age where we’re judged based off the number of followers we have or the amount of people we can get to pack in a table at a nightclub for the gram, and the likes, can't forget about the likes. I’m really starting to realize who my actual friends are versus acquaintances, and being okay with the difference.

Finding out what makes me happy. This has really been tough. I would say twenty-four was definitely a struggle. I had recently moved out on my own for the first time (as much as we all want to think college counts as real life), and was starting to feel the pains that come with “adulting”. Recently encountered a change at work that took some adjusting, and had to carry this idea that I wasn’t doing enough around. It got heavy, and I got sick of feeling crumby.

While I don’t think because of my birthday I’ve found all the answers – by any means, I do think I’m starting to feel a bit more comfortable in my own skin. For the first time I’m starting to put myself first a lot more, and do the things that I know are right for me, when they’re right for me. No more going out because I don’t wanna have fomo – not only is it never as fun as you think it’s going to be, but I also don’t even feel guilty sending that “I think I’m gunna stay in” text.

I got to bring in twenty-five with people who actually matter in my life, and for the first time my birthday didn’t feel forced, I didn’t worry about people having a good time because I knew everyone there were happy enough as is.

What a time to be alive, at twenty-five.

shop the look

find me ― on the gram