Sex And The Modern City (1.04) - Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys

Okay. Seeing as I have never dated anyone that was younger than me, I’ll apply this as a twenty-something who dates people their own age. (o:3

The episode starts off with Carrie running into Big all around town – unplanned at best. They finally agree to meet, and like clockwork, he doesn’t show up to their “drink, thing”.

It wasn’t really a date to begin with, so should she be mad? (he ends up stopping by for legitimately a couple of minutes, and leaves her to spend the night as she pleases)

Experts say no, because it wasn’t clear that it was an actual date, and because he ended up showing up. 
My friends and I say “hell yeah”. It’s more about the idea of flaking than anything else. In today’s age where you can order food, find a match, text a group, like a photo, all while talking to someone on the phone, there’s no wonder why it seems like no one sticks to their gun when it comes to plans.

I’ve done it, we all have. Made a couple of plans, and then realized that you can’t possibly make it to both, and had to cancel. Because all we have to do nowadays is shoot over a quick text, do we really deal with the consequences?

It’s not like when I was growing up (before cell phones were popular) and if you made plans you had to stick to them because it was nearly impossible to tell them you weren’t showing up. Being late was one thing, but not showing up, you better have a rock solid reason for doing that to someone in those days.

Now, you can make and break plans you’ve had for weeks in under a minute.

“Are men in their twenties the new designer drug?” - Carrie
I can’t speak for all twenty-something ladies out there, but I can attest personally, to dating guys our own age – sucks. Of course there are pros, don’t get me wrong. Like both parties being fluent in social media, being up to date on the latest music and parties, doing fun stuff, well, because we’re young.

What’s not great? Despite being virtually the same age, there is usually a great disparity in maturity levels. Meaning, when you date someone your own age, in your twenties, it can be tough! Those countless twenty-something articles about how to find yourself and what to focus on, are magnified. Not only do you have one person who can go from partying until the sun comes up to questioning existence, but you have two of them, on snapchat, and on instagram, and texting while at dinner.

While I’ve had my fair share of relationships with people my own age (flings, friendships, relationships) there’s nothing like people who are mature for their age, or are just plain older. Yes, I’m making a blanket statement by assuming that the older you are the more mature you are, but that’s because I hope that’s true. Whether hooking up or living with an older guy, I always felt like they were looking out for me. Not just by opening doors, or picking up the check (when we offer!), but by the types of conversations we’d have, and how they carried themselves.

Best advice I can give to fellow twenty-something ladies, is go older if you can. I’m not talking fifty-something, but more importantly mature-something individuals who treat you right, and make you laugh.